“I should just drop out.” 

Leah Smith started saying this to friends last September. 

She made it sound like a joke but Smith was serious. The fourth-year Integrated Science student was struggling to see a way through her final fall and winter terms. Even though she was so close to the finish line, she was ready to walk away. She could see no other option. 

Smith was exhausted – she felt overwhelmed, sad, stressed and anxious nearly all of the time. The bad days were piling up – the good days were few and far between. There were weeks when the only thing she looked forward to were Sunday night rehearsals for the MacSci Musical. “If it hadn’t been for the musical, I’m not sure I would’ve left my room. I would’ve turned into a shell of myself.” 

She suspects her mental health started deteriorating in high school. But Smith could still pull off near perfect grades while doing every imaginable extracurricular. The COVID years were brutal yet she muddled through. 

But then came university and continuing to do everything all at once at the expense of her mental health was no longer tenable. “My façade started falling apart.” 

Smith’s not alone in her struggles. The American Psychological Association reports that Gen Z – born between 1995 and 2012 – is more likely than previous generations to report depression, anxiety and other mental health concerns. The 2023 Canadian Health Survey on Children and Youth found that 26 per cent of 12 to 17-year-olds rated their mental health as fair or poor. And a paper commissioned by the United Nations and released earlier this year found declining life satisfaction and happiness among young adults in six English-speaking countries, including Canada. 

Within weeks of returning to Mac last September, Smith was worried and booked an appointment with the Student Success Centre. She was desperate for advice on how to stay on top of everything and get through her final year. “At that point, I was still convinced that I was struggling because I just wasn’t trying hard enough.” Smith says the staff at the centre were helpful but she started wondering if there was a far bigger issue at play. 

A concerned friend thought the same and knew Smith couldn’t possibly work any harder and wasn’t joking when she talked about dropping out. Like a good friend, she didn’t stay silent or tell Smith to keep calm and carry on for the next eight months. Instead, she told Smith that dropping out wasn’t her only option. 

What if Smith lightened her course load by adding a fifth year to her undergrad degree? Why not join the Class of 2025? Smith was initially resistant to the idea and worried what could happen if she fell behind her peers. She broached the idea with associate professor Chad Harvey. He’d always been open with students about his depression – he was featured in a McMaster video series that Smith watched over and over and over again. She found it reassuring to know she wasn’t alone with her mental health challenges and people were ready to help. “Dr. Harvey was so supportive and basically told me that I already knew what I needed to do.” 

Smith went home for Reading Week and worked up the courage to break the news to her parents. She launched into her contingency plan, listing all the steps she’d take to guarantee that she’d graduate. Her parents cut her off – they didn’t need convincing. Like their love, their support for her decision was unconditional. To them, nothing mattered more than their daughter’s health and well-being. They told their daughter to cut herself some much needed slack. 

Another team – this time in Student Accessibility Services – helped Smith get the course accommodations she needed to complete her degree over five years.  Along with having fewer courses to juggle, Smith started going to therapy and taking medication. 

There are now fewer bad days. Yet Smith insists this can’t be yet another story about a student’s mental health journey “where they hit a rough patch, overcome their mental health challenges and now everything’s awesome.” She says that all-too common narrative isn’t helpful or realistic for students like her. 

“I’m better but I’m not healed. I still struggle some days and that really sucks. But I’ve overcome so much and now I know what I need to do.” Smith was leaving campus the other day on the verge of tears, feeling overwhelmed by mid-terms, group projects and assignments. She spent a half hour in a bathroom stall working through her anxiety and then made it home without falling apart. 

“We’re comfortable talking about the importance of mental health and self-care. But we’re still really uncomfortable when it comes to talking honestly about what it’s actually like to wrestle with mental health issues – the constant and unpredictable highs and lows, having to spend a half-hour in a washroom pulling yourself together. Not everyone wants to hear about that.” 

Along with improving her mental health, adding a fifth year opened unexpected doors. During the summer, she joined classmates on a 12-day field camp to Iceland where they studied geology and ecology and immersed themselves in the country’s culture – it was a transformative trip and one of the highlights of her time at McMaster. She also got to create educational hiking guides with the Association of Professional Geoscientists of Ontario Education Foundation and learned how to fly drones as part of the job. Those experiences rekindled a passion for geoscience that’s now shaping her post-Mac plans. 

Once she was back at McMaster last September, Smith rejoined the MacSci Musical for an encore performance. She’d been in the cast the previous three years and decided to take on an executive role as vocal director. “It was time for me to make room for other students to join the cast. One of the best things about the musical is that gives everyone the room to try new things, grow and develop new skills. If someone had told me three years ago that I’d be on the executive, I wouldn’t have believed it. And I get to be part of the musical’s 10th anniversary. How special is that?” 

While those Sunday night rehearsals remain the best part of every week, the musical’s no longer the only reason why Smith heads out the door every day. And in June, she’ll walk across another stage – this time at the FirstOntario Concert Hall for her Convocation Ceremony with the Class of 2025 and with her family in the audience. 

“That’s going to be a really good day.”