When Maddie Brockbank heard her name called out at the YWCA Hamilton’s 2019 Women of Distinction Awards, she was a bit stunned.

You’d think she’d be used to it by now.

Not only has Brockbank been on the Dean’s list and received a Senate Scholarship and the Anne Stein Memorial Prize, she was also awarded an Undergraduate Student Research Award in her third year to study ways to prevent sexual violence.

Soon after that, Brockbank won the prestigious Ryan and Leanne Clarke Prize in Advocacy and Active Citizenship for her proposal to engage with young men on issues of sexual violence prevention, consent and allyship.

The project, which is at the heart of her research, included a sold-out event in the fall, where young men learned about sexual violence and consent. All proceeds went to the Sexual Assault Centre for Hamilton Area.

In March, Brockbank was named the YWCA Hamilton’s 2019 Young Woman of Distinction. Then she was awarded a Canada Graduate Scholarship, followed by the Harry Lyman Hooker Sr. Fellowship.

Today, as she graduates with a bachelor’s degree in social work, Brockbank will receive the President’s Award for Excellence in Student Leadership. Here’s what she has to say.

On the YWCA Young Woman of Distinction Award

I got to chat with the other nominees at the gala and these women are just amazing. I started to think what the heck am I doing here with them? But it was an affirmation that the work that I have been doing for the last year and a bit has merit and resonates with people. When I said I do anti-violence work with men there were a few [supportive] hollers from a few men in the crowd, which I thought was really cool. There is a willingness to have these conversations, as difficult as they can be.

My dad took the night off work — he works like 12-hour shifts and has to miss a lot of things, but he was there with my mom. And when they said my name I had to go up and give a little speech and my dad cried.

On her parents

My dad is incredible. Ever since I got into social work, he brings home news articles that talk about sexual violence, or about racism, or about all these things I care about, and he wants to talk about it. And he wants to learn. He believes in me, and he wants to have these conversations.

My mom is my hero. She’s the greatest person ever.

She is a sexual violence survivor, and that definitely is a factor in what I do now. As a survivor, she faced constant scrutiny and barriers to accessing a lot of support and legal recourse. There’s still such a culture of victim blaming. I really wanted it to stop being the responsibility of survivors to avoid and prevent their own victimization.

I want to shift the conversation so men are accountable for any role they might play in sexual violence, or sexually violent ideas or language.

To be able to do this work and hopefully make a difference means a lot to me.

On how she got into studying sexual violence prevention

I didn’t hear the word “consent” until I got to university. Consent or sexual violence was not something anyone ever brought up. Older boys in high school used to joke about “hunting” younger girls in a predatory way, like there was nothing wrong with that.

I remember taking a feminist social work class with associate professor Saara Greene in my second year. It completely flipped my thinking.

Why are we not talking to men when sexual violence is such a huge issue? Why aren’t we sitting down and talking to men about what the heck is going on?

We don’t talk to men about how they’re vastly over-represented as potential perpetrators. It’s as though we’re afraid to say it, which doesn’t make much sense since there’s so much statistical backing.

And I said to Saara, I want to talk to men about sexual violence, but how do I do it? And she helped me craft the idea that led to my USRA.

On her work with young men

I was concerned no one would want to take part, but one of my best friends started telling his friends about it. And then I started getting messages saying, Hey, I really want to sit down and talk. Which surprised me because these guys actually want to have these conversations. Who knew?

I interviewed seven young men over a few months. So many of their comments revealed a real lack of knowledge around consent. Things like “If it’s your girlfriend, and she’s hammered, you don’t have to ask for consent, because you have a relationship.”

I tried not to do too much correcting during the interviews because I just want to get the real perspective and I wanted them to feel comfortable. So they got pretty real, which was sometimes hard to listen to. But it confirmed a lot of my hypotheses about a lack of consent education.

On the bright side

The thing that was promising, which prompted my Clark prize project, was that all of them said, “I would really love to be able to support survivors.”

A few of them knew sexual assault survivors, and they would say, “I don’t know how to give them any support. I don’t know how to show them that I’m an ally to the cause.” There was a real willingness to learn.

On social work

It’s such a part of my identity now, that I picture myself only doing anti-violence work with men, but maybe it won’t be always specific to sexual violence.

I co-facilitated the Partner Assault Response program at Catholic Family Services of Hamilton, for men who have been charged with domestic violence-related offenses. I worked with groups of up to 35 men. And when you’re the only woman in the room, it’s an interesting dynamic: When they’re making misogynistic comments, or are angry at the system, they direct it at you because you’re the woman in the room.

But there were some really positive moments.

I had so many guys stop me at the end and say, “I really wish I’d had this conversation in high school because it would have saved me and others a lot of grief.”

A lot of them have been dating since they were 14 or 15. And now they’re 40 and this is the first time they’ve talked about healthy relationships, or how to not be abusive in relationships.

On what’s next

There are so many wonderful, reflective, respectful men in my life. And the more bad experiences I have, the more it makes me want to keep doing what I’m doing, so more men have these conversations earlier in their lives.

I’m starting my master’s degree at McMaster’s School of Social Work this fall. My very ambitious goal for the future is to bring an education program for youth and teenagers here, like WiseGuyz in Calgary.